There Oughtta Be A Place

It’s too bad this town doesn’t have a place where you can shop for purses and watch the Texas vs. Oklahoma game tomorrow. Sure, you can somehow get the game playing on an iPhone screen while wandering around the mall, or just line up all your purses on the ground in front of the television at home, but what Austin really needs is a place where both the purses are cool and new, and the football game is playing on some sort of massive 12-foot projection screen with comfortable seating in front of it.

The purses should be interesting, too. Like, made from recycled seat belts. Oh, and there should be beer. And wine. There should be a place where you can buy purses, drink beer, drink wine, watch football, and sit in a beanbag chair. That would be the best thing ever.

And you know what else? Snacks. Sandwiches. Interesting ones, with artisan bread and unusual meats and cheeses from around the world. It could be a combination of Whole Foods and snack foods. Not another chicken wing place, but a spot that says, “Buying purses and watching football means eating gourmet food and drinking delectable, sustainable wine.”

No! You know what? You know what else this town needs? A place where you can come in the afternoon at about 3 p.m. for the pre-game show, right? Get all excited for the contest, get the cheering lungs ready for the boys in burnt orange, maybe check out some cool purses … then order some beer or some wine to watch the game … then afterwards, there should be an art opening. A really cool one with awesome photography. And right after that, there should be a screening of The Lost Boys.

Okay, this might be asking too much. I mean, what kind of crazy person would own a business that puts all this random stuff together in one day? Still, it’s too bad a place like this doesn’t exist. Come on, Austin, get your act together! I thought this was the kind of town that could pull off a weird place with purses and football and beer and wine and sandwiches and beanbags and art and Corey Haim!

Best Saturday Ever kicks off tomorrow (Saturday) at Aviary Lounge at 3 pm.